You know when you don’t feel your best and you can barely make it out of your dressing gown during the day? Showering and getting dressed is a huge achievement and being grumpy is your default mechanism. Well, that’s how I was during Masters week and the fact I couldn’t keep my eyes open after 10 o’clock at night and had to record and watch the end of the day’s play the next morning didn’t help my mood either.
Before the tournament got underway I was bewilderingly wondering had my living room turned in to some kind of religious meeting place. The reverential tone of the ads with references to iron-clad resolve, nobility, passion, perfection and traditions running deep had me feeling I should be kneeling at the altar of Augusta National – had I been physically able to do so. The relentless sycophancy of the broadcast teams, too, is a little wearing to say the least – especially when there is absolutely nothing else going on in your life.
Patricia, my golf-watching partner-in-crime had caught Covid and was self-isolating at home and my better half came down with Covid on the Tuesday. We spent the rest of the week circling each other at a distance, neither of us really well enough to prepare the comforting, nutritious food we both needed.
I only tell you the above so that you understand the background against which the following observations emerged.
Why do the Americans have cameramen who decide to stay on a player after a chip or putt instead of following the ball to its destination? Not good and very, very annoying.
We must all be expected to have instant photographic memories if the amount of screen time given to a player’s scorecard is anything to go by. I doubt it’s even longer than three seconds before, whoosh, the card disappears and you’re reaching for the remote to rewind and then pause the card when it comes up on the screen. One unexpected bonus is the little bit of time this affords you to scoot on through the next lot of ads.
On Saturday everyone was complaining that the temperature was only in the 50s – shock, horror! If you don’t play golf in this neck of the woods in those temperatures, you don’t play much golf at all. Constant references to the wind chill factor, the difficulty of the course and the players wearing beanies and carrying hand warmers abounded. Danny Willett, meanwhile, strolled around in shirt sleeves. It was one of the few times I laughed during the week.
The iconic tree outside the Augusta National Golf Club where the great and the good of the game meet each April.
I would love to see a green jacket on a player with a hairstyle like Cam Smith’s. Come to think of it, I’d love to see a green jacket on Cam Smith.
I still feel disgusted at seeing players spitting. The usual suspect, DJ, was at it again but so, too, was Scottie Scheffler.
Why, oh why, was Sky’s “studio” a rectangle of decking with a lone screen and all open to the elements? Not even a seat for Butch Harmon, that 78-year old doyen of commentators. Remember how cold it was on Saturday? And I do remember how quickly the temperature drops after sunset which was when all the analysis was being done at the end of each round. Hope the team had Sky Sports-issue thermals.
I did manage (just about) to pull myself back from being relentlessly grumpy and critical and enjoyed certain aspects of the coverage. Top of the list was the innovative drone coverage showing Augusta National and its topography as never before. It gave those of us at home a glimpse of just how exacting the course is as a test of golf and just how demanding it must have been for Tiger simply to walk round it. By the weekend I found it almost too painful to watch Tiger put himself through the physical agony of getting from the 1st tee and safely back to the clubhouse.
One question kept coming to mind: “Why would anyone at this stage of their career put themselves through this?” I have no sensible answer.
This has never professed to be an unbiased blog and in keeping with that proud tradition it would be remiss of me not to rejoice in the best-ever Irish showing at the Masters. Third for Shane-O was a stout effort and the fact that he was so terribly disappointed with that speaks volumes.
And, finally, Rory, with a 64, equalling the lowest final round ever at the Masters and finishing runner-up. If nothing else, he’s proved to himself he can do it round Augusta. Get thee behind me all who say he can only do it when he can’t win – I’ll have none of that!
Ah, maybe it wasn’t such a bad week after all.
Great piece as usual Maureen and I hope you and yours recover well. I too watched the Sky coverage and especially enjoyed the seated discussion feed from the US broadcasters they showed in the early evening – that seemed more intelligent and less repetitive. I feared for Tiger’s long term well being by the 3rd and 4th round. The BBC highlights package was my joy. Getting to hear Andrew, Ken, Iona and Ned was very entertaining and insightful – Andrew evolves into his own kind of sage in the gap left by Peter. Ken on the course is a great way to understand the greens.
Sorry to see you are so under the weather still post COVID, but you did make me laugh and emulated my views entirely. The one where the cameraman stayed on Tiger’s face after he hit a chip comes to mind in particular . Mind yourself and hope there’s some improvement and… thanks for the laugh. We all need one from time to time.
Hi Maureen, glad you are well enough to blog again. I agree whole heartedly with your comments regarding the “uplifting” words accompanying adverts. Other watches are available! I got so fed up with it I rushed for the mute button. Also why commentators have to be so reverential about Augusta year after year beats me. Perhaps they are worried that they might not be allowed back next year if they do not extol the virtues of the place. You were spot on with the criticism of the camera work too.
Regards
Dancing Mike!!
Hope you’re feeling better Maureen. You’re right about Augusta. When I first went 42 years ago the Masters seemed both lovely and eccentric, quite charming in its own deeply Southern way but with men like Charlie Yates who was a co-founder and knew how to let his hair down and who knew that, above all else, the Masters was a theatrical show determined to distinguish itself from the others. Now there is a growing sense for some that there is a pervading feeling of entitlement and pretence, of bloated self-importance. More and more it seems to be a sort of theme park trying to recall days gone by. That Augusta National is an anachronism used to tickle my fancy, now it irritates as much as it offers a bit of fun. Above all else, it remains an absolute masterclass in marketing, fascinating people even as it reminds them that they are not special but Augusta National and its members are. Seeing the Sky team in their shirts and ties in a setting worthy of a hyped up Jane Austen grates but, like so many, they are only following orders. Stay well…x Bill
Thanks for blog Maureen and most important response is so hope you get better soon.
I find your observations very interesting always and can see why you have done so well in all your endeavours.
Felt guilty at the end as I must confess to being a Roey doubter. I sometimes think that worlds best swing somehow got translated too easily into worlds best golfer? Was great golf from him though I doubt he would have played that well in the leaders situation?
Anyway thanks again and best wishes
Thanks, Paul, for your good wishes. I can’t blame you for being a Rory doubter – we’ve all been one at some stage or another! Even the man himself has, I suspect.
There’s no doubt that you enjoyed the very best of times at The Masters, Bill. I was lucky enough to get the tail-end of that era when Charlie Yates was still around. Great days.
Lovely to hear from you, DM. Can’t believe so many people read this nonsense of a blog!
Thanks for your good wishes…….and for reading, Eithne.
Lovely to get your positive comments, Lynne, to off-set my gloomy negativity in the piece! Will try to be less grumpy going forward!
Great to see you ‘back in the saddle’ so to speak with the blog Mo. Yes Augusta has its own ways . . . I had to correct Mike a couple of times for not calling the spectators ‘Patrons’! Anyway if you’d been off any longer Patricia would have had to write about some golf!!
Yes- I keep telling her it’s a GOLF blog but it doesn’t seem to have any effect!
Nice to have you back Maureen. The long-Covid hasn’t blunted your observational skills.
Good to be back, Brian!