There’s only one place for me to start this week – with apologies to Laurie Canter, it’s not with his first round at the Italian Open – and that’s with Sue Spencer’s 69 on the new interim course at WHGC on Tuesday.  We’ve now moved into the new clubhouse – I had my first sausage and egg bap on Monday after an 0730 start, delicious – so our 1st hole is the old 5th, then we play what was the 4th as the 2nd, the old 2nd becomes the 3rd and on we go, one hole behind what we’re used to (the new markers are a bit simpler than the old stones, which were auctioned off).  Anyway, it means that the incomparable Spenny, who is getting better and better with age, set the new course record.  She even had a couple of bogeys, so, scarily, there’s plenty of room for improvement!

That translated into 40 points, so Sue won the comp too and we had a glass of prosecco to celebrate.  Jayne Fletcher, my partner, played really well for 39 points and came second, unhindered by my rather wimpish effort of 31 points.  In fact, I’ve come to the conclusion that my game, while deserving of a four-letter description, is not really golf.  Jayne took a photo that illustrated that to perfection.

That was confirmed the next day when I went to a Taylormade fitting and had my swing speed measured, along with the distance the ball went and various other depressing figures.  Bryson DeChambeau should try playing this game with my numbers!  Mind you, I didn’t have to glug down  endless protein shakes or add 40 pounds, or whatever, to increase my yardages – I just had to use a more modern, up-to-date club.  My clubs, which were, in fact, Dai’s, as Maureen reminded me, so hardly designed for me, are 15 years old.  Technology has moved on a bit (mostly in a good way) and, of course, so have I (mostly in a bad way), so Mark, the fitter, had little difficulty in finding a club that improved my performance without any need for improvement from me.  Hooray.

Canter’s numbers were spot on at Chervo Golf Club, San Vigilio di Pozzolengo, Brescia (what a marvellous language Italian is, whether you speak it or not) yesterday.  The Englishman had a round of 60, 12 under par and was in severe danger of becoming only the second man to card a 59 on the European Tour – Oliver Fisher is still out on his own in that regard and since there was placing in Italy, Canter couldn’t even claim a course record.  Still, the man who lists Bath rugby and red wine as his interests, couldn’t stop smiling:  “It was just one of those days where you’ve just got to enjoy the ride.  It feels great.”

They’re not so happy in Ireland, where the government has put the country into lockdown and golf is now on the list of banned pastimes, despite being the poster sport for social distancing.  People are not happy and there have been plenty of sarcastic comparisons popping up on social media and a petition to change the decision.

To finish, here’s a joke for you, sent by a friend who thought it might be a little risqué but I think it’s OK, though it’s maybe not for the more squeamish.  Anyway, here goes (it is/was American but I’m sure you’ll understand the terminology).

A little old lady was walking down the street dragging two large plastic garbage bags behind her.  One of the bags was ripped and every once in a while a $20 bill fell out onto the sidewalk.   Noticing this, a policeman [who didn’t draw his gun; presumably the little old lady was white] stopped her and said:  “Ma’am, there are $20 bills falling out of that bag.”

”Oh, really?  Darn it!” said the little old lady.  “I’d better go back and see if I can find them.  Thanks for telling me officer.”

”Well, now, not so fast,” said the cop.  “Where did you get all that money?  You didn’t steal it, did you?”

”Oh, no, no,” said the old lady.  “You see my back yard is right next to a golf course.  A lot of golfers come and pee through a knot hole in my fence, right in my flower garden.  It used to really tick me off.  Kills the flowers, you know.

”Then I thought, ‘Why not make the best of it?’  So, now, I stand behind the fence by the knot hole, real quiet, with my hedge clippers.  Every time some guy sticks his thing through my fence, I surprise him, grab hold of it and say, ‘OK, buddy!  Give me $20 or off it comes!’”

”Well, that seems only fair,” said the cop, laughing.  “OK.  Good luck!

”Oh, by the way, what’s in the other bag?”

”Not everybody pays.”

 

I had a text from a friend yesterday, suggesting a subject for today’s blog, a very, very, very (ad infinitum) contentious subject:  the dreaded, ever-divisive dress code.  Not being in one of my argumentative, disputatious moods (a bit odd that, for an Irish person, or, at least, this particular Irish person), I’m not going to bite.

Suffice it to say that I cheered when I saw Tyrrell Hatton wearing his hoodie at Wentworth.  Yes, a HOODIE.  Shock horror, hooray, hooray.  When David Cameron (remember him?  I’m pretty sure it was him) suggested we hug hoodie-wearing teens instead of vilifying them, I put a hoodie on my wish list – a cashmere hoodie, admittedly but a hoodie nonetheless.  In fact, it went on the list immediately after whatever shopping centre it was said it was going to ban them.

There’s a Guardian article from the time – July 2006 – that said:  “In a ground-breaking speech calling for more ‘love’ to be shown to adolescents, the Tory leader will attack bans on hooded tops – a symbol of urban menace to many adults – that were imposed by a shopping centre last year, arguing that shrouding their faces is a response to children’s own fear of crime against them, not a crime in itself…..”

Hatton helped demonstrate that far from being an urban menace the hoodie is now a fairway fashion item.  In the way of fashion items, it’s not entirely practical because, let’s face it, who’s going to be hitting a shot with the hood up?  And with the hood down you have to make sure it keeps out of the way of the swing and is not going to knock you about the face.  The key is that he was wearing it at all, showing what?  That golf’s now the epitome of urban cool?  That Adidas had a bit of extra material to make use of?  Who knows?  But thanks Tyrrell and many congrats on winning the BMW PGA Championship at Wentworth and moving into the top ten in the world rankings.

My golf’s not quite in the same league and if I’d been wearing a hoodie the other day, I’d have pulled the hood over my eyes because I had a fit of the unmentionables (Arthur Ranks for older readers or real cinema buffs) at a crucial time; going from two up with four to play to two down at the end……Great…..The smile as I left the 18th green was of the rictus variety…..

Maureen’s advice included a mat (I have no grass because what’s the point when you have an entire park, well maintained by a lovely, friendly team who are as good for your well-being as the grounds they look after, 50-odd yards max from your front door?), a kitchen sponge and an airflow ball.  She described how to set things up and added the magic words:  “Don’t think of anything too technical…”. As if.  I won’t go into any more detail in case she wants to use it as a proper tip at a later date and I can’t report on its efficacy until I’ve been and gone and got the equipment….Wilkco here I come.

There was a poignant moment at Wentworth last week when Andy McFee and John Paramor said goodbye to the European Tour and left their replacements as rules officials shaking in their shoes….Decades of experience are hard earned and they were two of the best in the world; the hole will be filled (and it’s a very big hole) but it’ll take time.

They both reminisced a bit and were very nice about the AGW (who were presenting them with a memento) and Paramor recalled a rather chastening, slightly terrifying moment from his early days as a tournament director.  It was at the Belfry, the week before the Open Championship, the weather was piggy, with rain delays galore, electrics that didn’t work, all in all a lot of a nightmare for anyone, let alone a relative rookie.  Decisions had to be made on the hoof and John told a load of marquee players, including former Open champions, all of them playing poorly and well off the pace, that they could go home – or wherever.

“I’d let them go without any nod to anybody,” he recalled and it didn’t go down well with the people who had features and (endless) Open previews to do….including my late husband, who’d have been working for the Birmingham Post at the time and was not a man known for his que sera sera equilibrium…..

”I was taken into a room with Dai and some of his senior colleagues,”  JP said, the memory still vivid, “and told in no uncertain terms that I was a ‘complete bloody idiot.  What you need to do is you need to talk to us and we will tell you what you should be doing……And you need to be honest with us…’  Thank you Dai, wherever you are….for that bit of advice.”

I’ll raise a glass of red to that!

It’s just been announced that the 2023 Solheim Cup (remember that, with luck, the 2021 version will go ahead at Inverness in Toledo, Ohio, next September) will be held in Spain for the first time, at Finca Cortesin in Andalucia.  If it’s a fraction as exciting as the Ryder Cup at Valderrama in 1997, the wine drinkers among us will need plentiful supplies of Rioja to calm our nerves….The more healthy are welcome to stick to their green tee, sorry, tea…..

The featured pic (at the top of the piece) probably needs explaining…..it’s there because it always makes me laugh, especially in these chaotic times but also because now, sadly, my favourite mug is defunct.  It cracked yesterday and I include it as a tribute to an old friend…..Sorry Mo.

Last Sunday came very close to being one of my all-time most enjoyable sporting days, in fact, it was so close as to make no matter.  Nothing to do with my own prowess, of course, though I did go to tai chi in the morning and joined Esther “8 Steps to a Painfree Back” Gokhale (pronounced Go-clay) for her 1-2-3 Move session in the early evening (0945 Pacific time, 1745 for me, perfect).  I’m one of Esther’s fans and am just sorry that more people, especially golfers, who are prone to backs, don’t know about her.  They’re missing a trick.  You can find out more about her at gokhalemethod.com.

To stop digressing, my beloved (sometimes) Totspurs won 6-1 at Old Trafford (empty, admittedly) after conceding a penalty in the first minute and were so all over United (down to ten men early on, with our man Lamela lucky not to be sent off too) that I spent most of the second half laughing in disbelief.  My Man Utd-supporting bro-in-law was lucky enough to miss most of the debacle because his sister and her husband called in at just the right time.

Then it was time for another unbelievable scoreline:  Aston Villa 7  Liverpool (champions-by-miles last season) 2….Not a misprint, not the wrong way round, just another of those football-bloody-hell moments.  So I had one happy bro-in-law, the Villa supporter, who couldn’t help WhatsApping me:  “Had to get one more than Spurs.”  Not mentioning that we were away, of course.  Though being away without thousands of the opposition’s fans baying for your blood must be quite pleasant….unless you’re Liverpool at Villa Park.  What a gloriously daft day.  Nothing like sport for bringing you down to earth with a crash.

On the golf front, Mel Reid and Sergio Garcia, two of the blog’s favourites (though Sergio’s sulks do him no favours), won in America and the only blot was that Robert Rock, a lad (well, man) local to us at Whittington Heath, didn’t win the Aberdeen Standard Investments Scottish Open, a lucrative Rolex Series event, at the Renaissance Club near North Berwick.  Then I discovered that Aaron Rai, who beat Tommy Fleetwood at the first extra hole, was from Wolverhampton, so we can claim him too.  That’s Aaron in the wee pic at the top of this piece, thanks to Getty Images and how can you not feel happy for a young man who’s just had the biggest win of his career?

On Sunday, however, I was cheering for Rob Rock and he came to the last needing a birdie to win.  He was short of the green with his second shot and after a bit of faffing about and a free drop from something, he hit his pitch beyond the hole and just missed his par putt, to finish third, one shot behind Rai and Fleetwood.  On the telly, Radar Riley was astounded that Rock hadn’t used his putter but it transpired that he’d been going for the outright win and had been determined to play aggressively not defensively, trying to hole his pitch.  Perhaps it wasn’t the percentage shot but you’ve got to admire his chutzpah.

Rock, a real student of the game, is already a highly respected coach and the fact that he can still play a bit won’t do his teaching cred any harm at all.  In the first round of the BMW PGA Championship at Wentworth yesterday he had a more than respectable 69, three under par, so he’s still playing well, presumably content with his decision to go for it on Sunday.  Richard Boxall, one of Sky’s commentators, remarked that Rock, who last won in Dubai in 2012, had cost himself a lot of money – Rai won nearly 975,000 Euro, Fleetwood won 630,000-odd and Rock a measly (!) 361,083.74 – and was then chided for always thinking about the dosh.

Boxall is not easily cowed, however and had a classic retort:  “Money isn’t everything,” he said, “but it’s right up there with oxygen.”  Brilliant.  It made me laugh anyway.  Thanks Richard.

It was lovely to potter about and watch some of the world’s best players tackling Wentworth, so familiar from many years of tramping its fairways but you can have my share of the West Course, the brutal Burma Road, much changed over the years and getting ever longer (why, oh why won’t they rein in the ball…?).  I’d just jotted down that the East is my favourite of Wentworth’s courses, human-sized and eminently playable for us normal mortals, not a slog but a delight, a joy to play, with some lovely holes, essentially much as the great (not an exaggeration in this case) Harry Colt designed them; then I scrolled through my emails and found that Alistair Tait was of the same mind.  Have a look at alistairtaitgolf.com – he writes every day and is always worth reading.

This week the world’s best women are at Aronimink Golf Club, a classic course near Philadelphia in Pennsylvania, playing in the KPMG Women’s PGA Championship, one of their majors.  In an article entitled “The Sink at the Mink”, Andy Johnson said it was “like building    a course in a bathroom sink”.  Apparently, the course is in a bit of a bowl, with some holes going up, some going down, some going across and some at the top, on the flat.  It’s a real test and Donald Ross, who designed it, in 1928, was suitably impressed when he went back 20 years later:  “I intended to make this course my masterpiece,” he said, “but not until today did I realise I built better than I knew.”

High praise from a man who had Pinehurst No 2, Seminole and Oakland Hills to his name.

Finally, birthday greetings to the incomparable Annika Sorenstam who is 50 today.  Seems like only yesterday that a shy, fresh-faced young Swedish rookie pitched up at the Ford Classic at Woburn with her dad Tom on the bag and nearly won.  What a career it turned out to be, what a journey.

 

 

 

 

 

Just as I was wondering what to write about this week, someone asked me:   What is your connection to madillgolf.com?  Wow!  How to answer that?  Without resorting to the words that I’m trying to eliminate from my vocabulary?

My eventual reply was, I thought, succinct, measured and polite:  Maureen’s big sister and co-founder of the blog, Madill being our maiden name.  After all, why on earth would the questioner have bothered looking at the blog in the first place and discovered the connection?  Far too simple.

Now that the over-70s automatically regard me as one of their own the time for delusions/illusions is long gone and I leave the big questions to others:  Why am I here?  What’s it all for?  Who knows?  As my aunt used to say:  Just get on with it, dear.

So, that still begs the question:  What am I going to write about!

Well, Paul Lawrie is as good a place as any to start – and finish.  Now 51, he’s playing in his 620th – and last – European Tour event, the Aberdeen Standard Investments Scottish Open at the Renaissance Club, near North Berwick, not too far from Muirfield.  The 1999 Open champion felt that finishing at home was spot on and said:  “There are a lot of factors behind the decision, the main one being that I don’t feel I can be competitive week in, week out at this level.  My back is not very good.  I’ve got a herniated disc and I struggle to practise enough.  I’m not able to hit the amount of balls I need.  I’m not particularly talented so I lose my game quite quickly.

“It’s not a bad innings considering I turned pro [in 1986] with a 5 handicap and didn’t think I’d play any European Tour events.  I haven’t been a great player but I’ve been decent and that’s all you can ask for.”

Lawrie’s first win was the Catalan Open of 1996 and he went on to win six other tournaments plus the big one, his major championship at Carnoustie.  He played in the 1999 Ryder Cup at Brookline and he and Colin Montgomerie played together in the foursomes and fourballs, winning two matches, halving one and losing one.  In all the mayhem of the final day singles, playing in the anchor match, Lawrie kept his head and his nerve and beat Jeff Maggert by 4 and 3.  It was an impressive effort, overshadowed by all the whooping and the hollering of the American comeback from 10-6 down.

He won the Dunhill Links Championship in 2001 and the Celtic Manor Resort Wales Open in 2002 but didn’t win again until 2011.   In 2012 he won twice and skipped the US Open, even though he was exempt, to concentrate on securing his Ryder Cup place at Medinah.  “The US Open was never an event I did well in,” Lawrie said.  “It wasn’t my type of golf.  I’ve never been the straightest off the tee or the strongest getting balls out of the rough……There was no point in me going there and with travelling I thought that was basically three tournaments I was taking out of my schedule….I got a lot of stick for the decision…..but I stuck to my guns, decided it was the best thing for me and it worked out perfectly because I got to Medinah.”

This time it was the Europeans who resurrected themselves on the last day and Lawrie, who’d lost his two fourball matches, defeated Brandt Snedeker 5 and 3 in the singles, one of the highlights of his career.

“When I look back,” he said, “the Ryder Cup at Medinah and my win at the Open stand above the rest…They were both special.  Medinah was huge because I hadn’t played for Europe in 13 years.  I’d lost my game completely in that spell for a wee while, so to come back from lower than 400th in the world to a place in the Ryder Cup team and get back into the top 30 in the world rankings again was a huge effort.  I did a lot of work, so to get back into Team Europe and to play with guys I hadn’t played with for a while was amazing for me.  And then to come back on Sunday from 10-6 down, to win my singles match, it doesn’t get any better.  Medinah was magic.  The Open will always be the biggest thing I ever achieved but Medinah was close.”

Proud as he is of his success on the course, Lawrie, an Aberdonian born and bred, is even happier with the work he and his wife Marian have done off the course.  “She’s been with me every step of the way and as soon as we got to a level where we thought we could give back we did because it was always something we wanted to do and we really enjoy it.  Things have just snowballed since.”

There’s the Paul Lawrie Golf Centre, the Paul Lawrie Foundation, the Five Star sports agency and the Tartan Pro Tour – Neil Fenwick, who won that tour’s order of merit recently, is playing at the Renaissance Club in his first European Tour start and Lawrie couldn’t be more chuffed:  “To see Neil playing this week is huge for us.  That was what the Tartan Pro Tour was designed for, to give guys like him the opportunity to step up.”

Lawrie won’t be abandoning the practice ground altogether, however, because he’s an ambassador for the Legends Tour and will be putting in some work over the winter.  “I’ve definitely got ambitions,” he said.  “I’m not saying I’m going to beat them all, all of the time but I feel as if I can win a few and do well.  It’s got some huge potential, so I’m going to put all of my attention into that and what I do outside of the game.”

A decent man who’s had a more than decent career.